Hellena Post - Creatrix

I've tried on so many uniforms and badges that now I'm just me - mother of 8 children and all that entails, flowmad, and human animal parent. Writer of this living book of a blog, philosopher, and creatrix of hand dyed and spun crocheted wearable art. I gave up polite conversation years ago, and now I dive into the big one's.....birth, sex, great wellness, life, passion, death and rebirth.


Tuesday, March 20, 2012

The Law of Repulsion and more book

Back to Balthazar and Nimue.  I was going to continue the running commentary before each installment, but I've been loathe to write about our actual meeting.  It's such a great story, but so very different to the book, where I used lashings of poetic license to make it pretty.  Not that our actual meeting wasn't pretty mind you.....but I guess I'm realising that there's some stories I'd like to keep for telling in person.  To people that I've felt out and know will appreciate it.  Not that I'm saying you wont, but it's a very different story in it's details to the prose that poured out about it in this book.  And I think I'd like the book to be itself, without having my real story to compare it to, overshadow it, or confuse the plotlines.  Enough said.  If you want the real dirt on what went on when we met, you're just gonna have to come and visit me, bring some lovely Temple Bruer Desert Wine, have a meal, and a drink, and then sit back and let me lay it on you.

That being said, I'm just gonna do little posts about what's going on in my head at the moment, and then keep on adding chapters of my book at the end, so you can keep reading it.  A bit like a women's magazine.  With the serialised story that you buy it to continue reading. 

I reckon one of the most consistent laws of the universe that Currawong and I have bumped into, is the law of repulsion.   Yes you read me right, I'm talking about what is inherent in the Law of Attraction that nobody talks about.  When we learn something, realise a personal truth, shift long held patterns, have enlightening experiences, or change aspects of ourselves, we literally, physically, and spiritually change our vibration.  Our energy changes.  And it makes sense that like magnets, when we stop attracting, we start repulsing.  So when we change our energy, we can find that people, places and situations that were attractive before we changed......can become repulsive.  At the same time, people that we attracted with our energy before we changed, can become repulsed by us when they feel the shift in our energy.  Circles of friends with the same energetic frequency, can repel a person who changes that frequency to a different one.  Behaviours that were once acceptable, can become abhorrent.  All sorts of things can happen, simply because we started to vibrate at a different frequency.  Becoming out of tune with what, who, and where we were before the change. 

Now there doesn't have to be any judgement in this, and if we all had energy barometers, we could look at them and say "oh...I've changed my frequency and now it's repelling you where we used to attract.  That's okay, how about we just go our own ways till we attract each other again, if we do?"   But instead more often, we take it personally, wrack our brains for reasons why it happened, try and work out what we're doing 'wrong', and put ourselves through all sorts of internal gymnastics that aren't often comfortable. 

I almost feel like an expert on this subject, because it's happened so many times throughout my life.  And the most clear example I've got of it is when Spiral-Moon was born.  We'd had a rough time with Lilly's birth before her, as we gave ourselves an example of how NOT to do bonding, as in, we didn't really bond as a family at all after her birth.  She bonded with me, and wouldn't go to anyone else, not Currawong, or my mother, or ANYONE till she was a year old.  And the rest of the family were strangers to her.  So when it came time to birth Spiral, the main thing I was focused on was getting the bonding right.  Which we really really did.  We had a birthday party for her a couple of days after she was born, with a cake, and presents for the other kids, and we did lotus birthing for the first time, and we were in the desert and in a bizarre little town, so we were on our own, and we bonded beautifully.  Absolutely wonderfully in fact.  We cried a lot, and felt a lot, and healed a lot, and loved a lot, and as a result.......we totally changed our vibrations.  All of us.  And what was the result of this?

Well most of it was awesome, but after her birth and the most amazing part of our bonding, we went down south to the market that we'd created, and friends, family and community, and fell out with ALL OF THEM!!!  All at the same time.  We got kicked out of the market that we started, and fell out with our closest friends over the silliest little thing, and had a huge fight with my mum and eldest daughter who lived together down south, and had little fallings out with our extended community too.  We were absolutely devestated.  Our whole lives had just been flushed down the toilet with little reason it seemed!!  We went back to our isolated home to lick our wounds, and try to work out what the hell had happened.  We were really stressed with each other for a while, as we were internalising what had happened, and trying to work out what we'd done wrong, whether we were heinous humans or not, what to do next, why why why it had happened......  Then a good friend turned up and stayed for a few days, listened to our woes, gave us some Osho books, and headed off again.  I read some Osho, and started feeling better, and then we headed down south again, and made friends again with my mum and daughter, and in the process got given 'The Secret' to watch, and it changed our lives.  Gave us a whole new way to look at life, and affirmed a whole stack of things I'd worked out for myself, and after watching it, I realised that we'd changed our vibration, were no longer attracting the people we had, and it was time to consciously create the reality we wanted with our thoughts. 

Which we did.  Went on to meet a whole heap of new folks who were vibrating at the same frequency as us, and stopped taking the whole event so personally.  And around that time I developed my theory about the law of repulsion, and now I'm sharing it with you :)  So if you're ever wondering why that old friend is acting so wierd, or why you've just fallen out with a whole heap of people.....think about the law of repulsion and see if it fits.  It makes sense to me anyhow..... 

Now.  For the next installment of Balthazar and Nimue.  If you haven't read the rest of the book so far, go here http://spunoutpost.blogspot.com.au/2012/02/love-story.html for the first two chapters, and here http://spunoutpost.blogspot.com.au/2012/02/chapters-three-and-four.html for chapters three and four, and then here http://spunoutpost.blogspot.com.au/2012/03/last-installment.html for chapters 5 - 8.  And then read on........






Chapter 9 - She dreams


Friday, 4 September
 
I was in a cave, deep beneath the surface, with serpents, spider webs, and ancient lore.  Menstrual rituals and moon light dispersed amidst stories and dreams.  The goddess was my company, and I knew my power.  Then drumming came from beneath me, thundered through the walls around me, and I found myself enthroned in furs.  Sweet incense, ripe fruits, and oils were around me, and I could hear voices in the distance, like far off waves.  Then an antlered god stood before me, looking like Balthazar, muscled and hollowed, and glistened with sweat.  Wild eyed and soft skinned, with phallus erect, we created life together.  We flew beyond time to the place of all time, and saw our creation together.  I looked down below, and saw torture and murder of life and passion, with women seared by a cruel sword, and I knew them as me.   I saw the savaged and pillaged, defiled and lifeless, and knew them also as me.  Then I saw all of the characters in ceaseless succession, swapping gender for age for culture for death, and I knew them all as one.  And I knew all within me.  Then I came back to my body, and held my antlered lover as the glamour dimmed.

Hurled from her dream she felt otherworldly and disconnected from reality.  The images filtered together and shifted and sifted, to show her kaleidoscopic pictures of inner realms.  She needed to see him again, to see what it meant.









Chapter 10 - He wakes




 
Friday, 4 September

I was a pagan man, dressed in deer antlers astride a hill, drawing down the power of the horned god into my body.  Then I descended the hill, to a throng of people dancing round a blistering fire.  Drummers and dancers circled and spiralled, and I started the search for my mate.  I could almost smell her, sweet dewy earth, springs first flush, blood red petals, gaze of fire, and then I saw her, Nimue, stretched out on furs.  I went to her, and it was a joining of the goddess and god.  A creation of new life, stars in the heavens and deep broiling seas.  We soared overhead and examined the vastness of time and humanity, adrift in the cross currents of perspective.  We both truly knew our place more completely than before, thrilled at the knowing of all in one.  And then I saw way down, the clashing blades of armoured soldiers, blood dripping onto the grieving earth, and I knew them as me.  I saw the merchants and law makers, forest cutters and stone builders, inquisitors and diseased ones, fanatics and despoilers of earth, and I knew them also as me.  Then I saw all of the characters in ceaseless succession, swapping gender for age for culture for death, and I knew them all as one.  And I knew all within me.  Then I came back to my body and nestled beside her, and our glamours faded to sweet respite.

This dream thrilled and bewitched him.  Who would have known there lay a poets heart beneath his battered coat?  He could feel his new awareness stretching over his skin, he bathed in it’s silken touch and light caress.  He’d somehow seen above and beyond the role he’d had cut for him, as the male actor in this period piece.  He knew he could do things differently.  He knew he could start anew and fresh, with insight into what he could do with his character.  He had an appointment with the script writers to rewrite the world.

He suddenly saw his entrapment’s and tangling’s writhing at his feet, no longer bound to him, slithering off to nest far away from his knowledge.  He saw where he’d been pushing the wrong trolleys, and bragging the wrong stories.  He brought out some finer aspects of self, and wrapped some others away from sight.

He spoke to his girlfriend about his new outlooks on life, and was amazed when she told him she needed him gone.  She’d found a new lover, and she wanted to be with him instead.  They parted as friends and old colleagues, battered but bonded by their travails together.  He visited his other lives and found similar responses, doors closing gently on a suit outworn.  He found himself in a bound up time, a bound up pile of old clothes that he stored away and left for posterity.  His new hide was sleeker, wiser, softer, more comely to his inner eye.  He was ready to go with her to the hills and leave the street behind.

He wanted to see her again, needed to talk and see where she’d got to.  He drove down the street looking to no avail, and sat perched on a barstool at night in case she drop in.  He needed to remember more......








11 comments:

  1. This is an excellent post. The law of repulsion makes sense. Btw I love your blog.

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  2. Well I'm glad it makes sense to people other than just me! Glad you liked it, and btw......I love people that love my blog :) Funnily enough...

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    1. Especially when they take the time to leave me a lovely comment :))

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  3. Wonder-Full, Hellena and I agree with the law of repulsion.
    I made similar experiences.
    I hope someday I will come to Australia and visit you for an evening!

    All the best to you and your family,

    Susanne

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    1. Susanne that would be marvellous :) And you could certainly stay for longer than an evening if you wished!!

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  4. Hellena, you have me completely seduced with your prose. Didnt think I could possibly fall in love with you guys anymore than I already had but then I started reading your blogs.... And I find myself at the polar opposite to repulsion. Love tuntable Nicky x

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    1. I love this comment :) And I reckon me and Currawong both fell in love with you and Will when we saw your smiles... Both of you have the most heart warming, skin tingling smiles around! And you're also incredibly attractive - I state I hope to be in (like you) for a very long time to come:)

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  5. You write this law of repulsion, better than better, You are but a seer into our true condition... Sometimes I repulse and attract myself, this effects the polarities with others too. Sometimes it's easier to be on the moon.

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    1. I'm so glad that when I send a ship out into the oceans you're there to greet it! And I love the prose of your words....

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  7. Oh you're beautiful jimmy :) And I'm sure you'd have a lot of other ideas about how to be happy too!

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I love your comments, and your feedback......it makes this whole blogging thing worthwhile. Peace and blessings to you!